Monday, September 26, 2011

Losing the Dream


I am one of those people.  Yes I will say it again; “I am one of those people”.  I am one of many people who once had a dream and now feel that I will not be able to fulfill it.  I have had few dreams in my life, few goals, or even objectives.  I am one of those people who just rock along in life without much problem or cares. 

When I purchased s/v New Life and moved aboard with my 12 year old son in 1997, I never had any aspirations to do anything more than raise my son and sail on the local waters

My dream did not just appear one day.  It was years in the making.  It was kind of like when you open a frozen soda.  At first is comes out slowly and it gains momentum, and before you know it, after making a big mess, it is over. 

I actually adopted the dream from an old couple that I met at a TMCA meeting that was held at the Houston Yacht Club.  The meeting was an unusual one in that it was a fancy dinner meeting.  We were seated at the same white linen covered table and engaged in a light conversation.  They were talking about going cruising.  They said that the last thing they had to sell was their Lincoln Town Car and then they were free to depart.  Being polite I asked the old couple when they planned to return.  Their answer was shocking to me.  They responded with a simple “never”.  What? I questioned, did I hear you right, you are never coming back?  In a matter of fact tone their response was “Yes, that is right”.  They explained further that they had no reason to return.  Their kids were grown and had moved away from the area and they had no more ties to the Clear Lake area.  They would simply sail off into the sunset, never to return.  This per chance meeting had a profound impact on me.  Sometime, shortly after meeting this couple, I formed a goal to sail off into the sunset.  Furthermore I adopted their philosophy of never coming back.  I was delighted to finally have a goal in my life.  “I am going to sail away and never come back”, wow what a goal.  I used this statement when and wherever I could to get other peoples reaction.  Most, if not all of the reaction I got was lack luster at best.  Most people just gave my goal, my dream a “yeah, yeah” reaction.  I held and flaunted this goal to the best of my ability for quite sometime.  One day I thought that the reason for the less than enthusiastic reaction I was getting was because it was an unreasonable dream with no planning.  I modified my dream to “I am going cruising for 2 years, until it is not fun any longer, or I run out of money”.  You know the dream, you have heard it plenty of times.  Okay, my dream was not unique, but at least it was my dream, and a goal to obtain. 

I set my departure for late 2005 or early 2006 and I began to plan.  The boat would need several improvements.  As you well know boat improvements are always measured in “Boat Bucks”.  All improvements would be in increments of $1,000.00.  The improvements were to be as follows:
2002 – autopilot, depth meter, engine gauges, cockpit speakers, and replace two (2) portholes. 
2003 – propeller and propeller shaft, inverter, new electric panel, additional fuel tank, and replace two (2) portholes. 
2004 – roller furling, dodger, and bimini
2005 – GPS, solar panel, wind generator (maybe), and alternator / regulator
2006 – while in Florida purchase and install a water maker. 
There it was my boat improvement plan.  The boat improvement plan also had a matching money (cruising kitty) goal spreadsheet.  It was simple, just follow the plan and you will arrive in a certain spot at a certain time.  The departure date was set to coincide with the year that my youngest son, Michael, would graduate from high school.  I had one more thing to gather prior to departure and that was a first mate.  I began to search the Internet for likely candidates through several Internet dating websites.  I also would follow a guideline I had learned earlier in life and that was, “know your resources”.  I had a local resource available to me known as TMCA and began to explore it.  After exhaustive research I found out that if you want to have any female company when attending a TMCA event, you had better bring her with you.  TMCA has always been pretty much a couples club.  There were four (4) single women members at the time and I dated three (3) of the four (much to some TMCA members entertainment).  The efforts resulted in a 0/3 score so I went back to the larger pond (the Internet). I posted a personal ad on two (2) free sites.  I would not say that I received a lot of response, but I did receive some.  One of the women that responded to my ad is the person that you all know by now as Admiral Hun.  Peggy joined into my dream quickly after being introduced into the world of boating.  The plan was in motion everything was a go, until, (now is when you hear the music change) the fateful day of January 4, 2004.  I woke early feeling just a little bit off center and unable to sleep on my right side.  It felt like I was holding a golf ball under my arm.  It was not painful, just uncomfortable.  I thought I might have pulled a muscle at the TMCA planning meeting the day before when I went to put up the chairs.  What I did not know was this was the beginning of what would change my entire life plan and all of my goals.  I am proud to tell you, thanks to early diagnosis (Thanks, Doc Mulloy) I am a Stage 3 Melanoma survivor.  Although I have survived the biochemotherapy and surgery, my dreams have been dashed. I no longer monitor the progress of the boat improvement checklist or cruising kitty spreadsheet.  (This would be a good spot to milk all the sympathy that I could from the readers, but I will not waste your time.)  Yes, I am one of those people.   I am one of many people who once had a dream and now feel that I will not be able to fulfill it.  I am one of those people who have been to deaths door and returned.  I am one of those people who have been prayed for by people I have never met.  I am one of those people who have been loved and cared for by friends and family.  I cannot help but quote one of my favorite Jimmy Buffett songs: “Some of it is Magic, some of it is Tragic, but I had a good life all the way”

I read very little, but once I read about a man that was not able to fulfill his dream of sailing off to exotic locations for years on end.  Or was it that he had tried cruising long term and did not like it, I am not sure.  His solution was to cruise for two (2) weeks at a time in different locations in the world.  I now share his goal.  This goal came to fruition in June of 2005 when I successfully planned and executed the TMCA Past Commodores Cruise to the British Virgin Islands.  

Friday, September 9, 2011

Boating Observations

I do not profess to being all there is when it comes to seamanship.  I will say that I have spent plenty of time aground, pinned to the leeward shore, torn sails, smashed fiberglass, ripped stanchions off of my boat and ripped stanchions off of other peoples boats (sorry about that David and Lorna).  All of this is in the last couple of years.  You should have seen me in the early years of sailing, before I had all of this sea time.  Besides seamanship I have also noted that sailing etiquette exists.  Etiquette is something you either learn by someone telling you or you can learn it by experience.  A good for instance is in golf when you show up at the Bay Oaks golf course in ragged cut off jeans and a tank top, they will not allow you on the course.  If someone had just told me that it is good etiquette to dress in hemmed Bermuda shorts and a button down shirt with a collar I could have saved myself the embarrassment.  The same applies in sailing / boating.  I would like to pass on some of the boating etiquette that I learned as a young sailor. 

Here are just a few examples of “Bad Etiquette”

Fender washing – dragging your fenders while you are underway

Leaving the winch handle in the sheet winch while not in use

Baggy headsail – not pulling up your jib tight

Baggy Mainsail – same as above with the main sail


Dragging a line overboard

Securing the mainsheet of a small sailing dinghy in gusty conditions


Not turning on your navigation lights at dusk

Not turning your navigation lights off at daybreak

Using your anchor light as a steaming light (not knowing what lights to display, so you just turn them all on)
Sometimes you wonder if boat dealers don’t just hand the keys to the new boat owners and point to the water. 

Here are a few examples of “Good Etiquette”

Taking a Boaters Education course (Power Squadron recommended) before challenging a ship to the “Right of Way”

“Turn Big and Turn Early” to show the other boat your intentions.

Always being aware of your wake and the responsibility associated with it. 

I do want to clarify that I am just as bad about exhibiting “Bad Etiquette” as the next guy, but I am trying to improve.  I guess the point here is to try to increase your “Good Etiquette” and decrease your “Bad Etiquette” and the boating community should improve a little bit at a time.  If you have the opportunity to pass on “Good Etiquette” to a new boater, please do.  It improves the boating community exponentially.