A Toilet Paper Conundrum

I came across this in my achive of writings 

The other day I was sitting on the toilet staring at a wicker basket of new rolls of toilet paper.  The wicker storage basket is an idea that Admiral Hun stole from Linda Williamson while we were visiting in the Netherlands.   Our ½ bathroom is about the size theirs was with no storage space for spare toilet paper waiting to be called into service.

 I reflected on a controversy that the wife and I have when it comes to toilet paper.  This toilet paper controversy is multifaceted.  I was once verbally reprimanded for my choice of brands and type.  The rolls looked perfectly suitable for the purpose in my opinion.  The problem was that they were not big enough.  There were plenty of rolls in the package, just not enough paper on the rolls. 

The next trip to the store I was sure to study the all of the offerings.  After my final decision, I gave the package a squeeze to confirm my selection, just as Mr. Whipple told me not to do in my youth.  My ultimate selection of toilet paper had been found acceptable by my better half. 

We also have a controversy around our house about being Sam’s Club members (yes it is tied to toilet paper).  She wants to buy in bulk and I am opposed to the idea.  I shutter at the thought of coming home with 96 rolls of unsuitable “royal paper” (sorry it is a Boy Scout inference).  Well, anyway I am just generally opposed to Sam’s Club in the first place with only two people in the household. 

I sat staring at the toilet paper basket in a blank gaze, I realized that the real problem was not the type or the amount it was that I had to buy any toilet paper at all.  I realized that after living aboard for 12 years and using the marina’s facilities day in and day out that I had only purchased about 12 rolls of toilet paper in twelve years. I yearned for the days when I did not have to worry about type, quantity, and quality of toilet paper.  I only had to worry if there was enough on hand for the current job (sorry about the pun, I could not resist). 

Living aboard was the good old days.