Laundrynaut
Preface:
The day I turned 16 years old and I got the keys to my $100
wonder (it was a wonder that the thing ran at all). The $100 wonder was a well used and worn out
1956 4 door Chevrolet Bellaire, also known as the “Green Apple”. The “Green Apple” was aptly named for its
verde hue of “GT Green” (also known as Goose Turd Green). The Green Apple was my passport to an almost
incurable case of wanderlust. By the
time I graduated high school, my best friend Roy Henslee and I camped all of
east Texas, western Louisiana, and some of southern Arkansas. There is nothing like a good road trip.
I was talking to a couple of my young co-workers and the
conversation reminded me of some of the odd things I have done in my past. I asked my two (2) young co-workers “How many
of us in this room are Laundrynauts?” I
found myself the only one in the room with his hand extended. Not only were Andy and Coy not Laundrynauts
but they actually had never heard the term.
I recounted a road trip to Deep East Texas not long after turning 16
years old. We were camping in a Corp of
Engineers park named Magnolia Ridge between Woodville and Jasper and just north
of Town Bluff Texas. The only reason
that we were camping at Magnolia Ridge was that the State of Texas would not
allow us to camp in Martin Dies State Park since we were all under 18 years of
age. It was no doubt a dull evening
around the campfire when Roy begins to talk about becoming a Laundrynaut. He had heard that if you make three (3)
consecutive rounds in a commercial clothes dryer you get to attach Laundynaut
to your personal list of accomplishments.
The reader must realize that man had not walked on the moon at this
time. On this particular road trip there
were three (3) of us, Roy Henslee, Ricky Holmes, and myself. Since Roy did not have this accomplishment
attached to his resume the vote was unanimous.
We jumped into the Green Apple (aka 1956 4 door Chevy) and headed to
town. Calling the location that I became
a Laundynaut a town would be a stretch of the truth. Town in the case was several old and some
abandon buildings on a farm to market road north of Town Bluff Texas. One of operating buildings was a washateria. The procedure for becoming an official
Laundynaut was to climb into a commercial clothes dryer while your buddy stood
outside with the door open (safety first) and held down door button simulating
the door being shut. Your buddy places a
dime in the coin slot and turns the knob and activating the clothes dryer. Ricky was first to “blast off”. Ricky was the tallest of the group at around
6’-0” he went in to the dryer head first as Roy and I pushed his lower
extremities into the dryer drum. I am
sure that Ricky had the very same look on his face that Chuck Yeager had when
he nodded his head indicating ”ready” in the launch of the experimental rocket
X-15. Roy dropped the dime into the
slot, turned the knob placing the dime into the cash box, and quickly pushed
the button. Ricky braced for take off
quickly made a successful three (3) round orbit. I was next up for the honors. We removed the dizzy and disoriented Ricky
and I climbed in with the help of my “buddies”.
Roy, not wanting to waste any of the prepaid dryer time, hastily pushed
the launch button again. The only problem
with that was that I did not get a chance to give one of those Chuck Yeager /
cowboy up / I am ready nods. I was just launched when I was not actually
in the launch position resulting in me falling from the top of the drum to the
bottom of the drum with each cycle just like wet laundry. I successfully made the required three (3)
rounds of orbit but was pretty beat up and bruised from falling in the drum as
it rotated. Falling and hitting the drum
was not nearly as painful as those flat bars that help agitate the drying
clothes. I exited the capsule a little on the mushy side but still proud of my
accomplishment. Roy, learning from
previous launches, quickly entered the dryer drum and assumed the launch
position, bracing himself between the dryer drum and flat bar agitators. I reached for the launch button as quickly as
possible to return the favor of an unprepared launch to Roy, but he was way to
fast for me still whirling from my orbits.
Roy made his entry into the roles of Laundrynauts unscathed although by
the time his fligt took place the capsule (dryer drum) was beginning to heat
up.
Epilogue:
This is just one of thousands of great (great?) memories of
my past. Imagine of having an evening of
fun in town for just a dime. Reflecting
back a helmet would have been a nice addition.
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